This isn't without reason. I'm sensitive to sunlight to the point that it gives me migraines, the ones that pulse every few seconds in a way that makes your vision go black. I also display several traits akin to Asperger's Syndrome, as well as a general intolerance of people's ignorance and stupidity. I am, as far as I can be in this day and age and place, a hermit.
It's not like I don't have friends. I do, I even live with one of them. I'm not, however, the sort of person who goes "out" to places with my friends. We tend to hang out online or at each other's houses where we're not exposed to the public and all that that entails, which is more than you think. I can smell the pollution when I go outside, the scent of thousands of perfumes mixed in with hot rubber, car exhaust, paint fumes and a faint smell of sewage that I can't believe I'm the only one to notice.
What really drives me away is the incompatibility with the way that most folk seem to do things. I was never ready to accept things just because I was told to without any evidence to back it up, so I've developed some habits which may seem strange at first, but which are oddly practical. For example, I often get lost in my work or games and forget to drink enough water, so to counteract this, I keep a bottle of tap water lying around my room that I can reach for absent mindedly instead of putting off my thirst until it's enough of a bother for me to get up to quench it.
I am lonely. If you follow my blog, you might have already guessed that. My intelligence, my arrogance and my reclusive lifestyle make me lonely, but I keep it this way because I feel it's better than the alternative. I've tried being outgoing and energetic, but it drains me too much and wears me down too fast to the point that I can almost feel myself wasting away like a snowman under a sun lamp.
There are things I like to do outside. I was born in Wales, though I didn't grow up there, and my parents used to take me walking up the hills there. The views were breathtaking in a way that a photograph, no matter how clear, cannot get across. The sensation of being the only person at the very top of the world cannot be compared to anything I can imagine or describe. I need to go back there and climb one of them again. It feels so small and cramped down here, even when I'm outdoors. Sometimes I look up and get the sensation of falling as I see how high the sky goes. It's like that. I'll try and take a photograph so that When I post afterwards, I can show what it looks like, if not quite what it feels like.